So, remember my last blog post, where I was all, “maybe I’ll get sacked”? Welllllll….I got sacked. Something about how they couldn’t afford to keep me on, what with all my benefits or some such. Like I don’t hear that all the time from my husband. Anyway, I am no longer making any money with which to buy a burlap bag for my cat.


I’ve been actively looking for work, because with my kids’ activities, it’s just me and the pets until around 4:30 every day, and that’s boring as shit. My dream job would be a bed tester or a wine taster. It’d be nice to get paid for something I do every day for free, ya know? I’ve been doing things like to keep busy though, like, I don’t know, trimming the lawn with nail clippers followed by a good two hours of staring at the ceiling (Isn’t it darling how last week I was whining about working and this week I’m whining about unemployment? Sorry fellas, I’m already taken).

Today I cleaned out the chicken coop and I’ve never done that in my life. I also folded Mitch’s underwear. Who folds underwear? Tomorrow I’m going to scrape the fence to prep it for whitewashing. By the time the kids get home from school, it should be ready for me to Tom Sawyer them into painting it. Oh, I’ll still take part. I’m gonna watch the paint dry.

Let me know if you think of any jobs I’d be perfect for, ‘Mkay?


One thought on “Unemployed

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